'Out of Order' in New York

Not on a pilgrimage, pie and coffee, 'Out of Order' signs, eating notes

May 22, 2023

Hello! My name is Rebecca May Johnson, I am a writer and cook and this is my Substack. This week’s newsletter is about pie, coffee, and bathrooms in New York, and a first instalment of eating notes from New York.

‘Out of Order’ in New York

On a weird weather day in New York where it was both hot and cold, raining and not raining, when I had period cramps that were intensified by my decision to walk 25 000 steps in a new pair of shoes, we ended up, not at all by design, in the cafe whose exterior but not interior is used for the images of the diner in the sitcom Seinfeld: ‘Tom’s Restaurant’. We were both hungry and not hungry and almost did not stop and Sam was especially unsure of whether he wanted to go in, fearing a tourist trap, but I said, ‘I need something sweet’ and became keen on the notion and insisted on it, which gave us a direction and we grumpily walked up the ramp to the door. It was not a pilgrimage for me, as while I have watched a few episodes of Seinfeld I would not characterise myself as a fan because of the lack of intensity of my viewing. I do like Seinfeld from what I have seen and recognise the qualities that have made it iconic, but I have not had the occasion, nor have I intentionally created the occasion to watch all of it. I have not binged but have infrequently grazed on the show which I did not grow up with and have also not watched with friends in shared housing while hungover, etc. However, I do have long-held fascination with diners and had set my heart on eating a slice of pie while in America, having seen people do so in countless American TV shows, perhaps most formatively, in David Lynch’s series Twin Peaks; sitting and eating pie appears to bring relief and comfort. Thinking of Kate Lebo’s writing about various, blue-coloured berries in The Book of Difficult Fruit I did not emulate Agent Cooper by choosing cherry pie, but instead chose blueberry pie – which felt more like a holiday as I have not encountered it in England. I had the pie served ‘à la mode’ – warm, with ice cream, and with a black filter coffee. Sam had a black filter coffee too and did not order pie, but grew interested once mine arrived and, in the end, ate around a third of it. The pie was generously filled, sweet but fruity enough with the distinct flavour of blueberry, juices thickened but not too thick with cornflour. The crust was inoffensive, and the ice cream was a cool contrast that cut through. We became happier and happier as we made our way through the pie and coffee. Booths had burgundy pleather seating set against dark wood veneer and pale peach marbled Formica tabletops with chrome trim and were separated from each other by clear perspex screens that I guess were installed in the height of the pandemic. Nonetheless we could still hear a woman in late middle age sitting in the next booth speaking in a near continuous stream to her friend about tornadoes and haircuts and the cities in which she had lived. It was around 3pm so there weren’t too many other people in. Two students sat down and ordered several large plates of food each from which they picked, lackadaisically, with their forks. Then an older man and teenage girl, I guess father and daughter came in. He was on a pilgrimage, and she took photos of him holding the menu and grinning; he was thrilled to be there. Apart from the man being photographed and a few press clippings on the wall the diner did not generally feel like a tourist trap – it was not more expensive than other places, and the food was what I had hoped. Two things did diminish the impression of welcome in the diner, however. One, more modest, was the sign that said solo diners were not permitted to sit in booths during busy hours (all of the seats, apart from a few stools at the bar, are booths). I can see the economic logic of this in a restaurant in the centre of town, but it felt mean as single diners are denied the comfort of being able to recline in a seat with a back and some privacy. The second, more significant because of its deceit, was the laminated sign on the door of the bathroom that said, ‘Out of Order’. A waiter overheard me lamenting the fact of the bathroom but said, ‘oh no it’s working you can use it.’ This was the second of three incidents where restaurants and diners had signs up saying ‘Out of Order’ in the few days I spent walking around New York. I grew to realise that the signs were a deterrent for people who needed the bathroom but did not have the means to eat in the restaurant or who simply needed the bathroom but did not need to make a purchase. I noticed that the signs themselves were in poor shape, sometimes taped together; despite their guise as temporary measures for e.g., a blocked drain or broken tap, they were long-term fixtures. I suppose the function of the sign would be so that if someone who was not a customer came in and looked to the waiting staff for permission to use the bathroom they would be able to shake their head in resignation, as if they were powerless to help out, or perhaps, to simply point to the sign that said ‘out of order’ and that would be the end of it. Earlier that day I had needed the bathroom desperately and after trying a Dunkin Donuts with no bathroom, was saved by Book Culture on West 112^th Street who made their staff bathroom available to customers. When I used the bathroom at Tom’s Restaurant all was in working order. Given the apparent scarcity of public restrooms in New York, the deception lessened the effect of pie and coffee.

Eating Notes

On our first day in New York, Nellie took us to Joe’s Steam Rice Roll in Landmall Quest Mall on Roosevelt Avenue in Flushing to eat Cheung Fun. We sat at a counter and had the rice rolls with omelette, prawns, lettuce and spring onions and Joe’s special, of which I can’t remember the filling.

I had a brown sugar milk tea at Debutea bubble tea shop in Manhattan as bubble tea is a newfound passion (I am late to the bubble tea party and a relative novice).

Some very good dollar slices on a tray as the shop was closing after going to an event for McKenzie Wark’s new book Raving at nightclub/bar/restaurant Nowadays with excellent performances and readings from Brock Colyar, Jesús Hilario-Reyes aka Morenxxx, Sabrina Imbler, oni lem and Sul Mousavi and a reading from Wark too.

Korean barbecue in Flushing with infinite sides and the most tender meat, with Nellie’s housemates. The barbecue was managed immaculately by the staff who replaced the grill with a clean cold one multiple times to lower the temperature and prevent the meat from burning.